The five of us (Steve, Debbie, Tim, Chris and Chan) walked into the little town of Portmarnock in search of an ATM, a post office and a Catholic Church. We found all three and made note of Mass times for St. Anne’s Parish.
When we sauntered back to the hotel, the rest of the golf group was arriving at check-in – Bob Lazard, John Emhardt, John Zehner, John Peer (OK, it’s a lot of Johns) and Pat Elward, who was a lst minute fill-in for Ed Fargo who couldn’t make it for personal reasons. Pat was working on about 2 days notice that there was an opening in for the trip, and somehow was able to “swing it” (pardon the pun) with his law firm and his wife to join the trip. There are two important notes about this circumstance:
1) John Emhardt rightly pointed out that every lawyer he knew wanted to come back in their next life as Pat Elward;2) Pat noted that the expense of the trip was a mere pittance compared to the price that would be extracted by his wife Ellen. As Pat noted, “For all I know, I will come back to a newly purchased mansion on Geist Reservoir.”
The unfortunate news was that two of the guys did not have their golf clubs show up. Nonetheless, the rest of us helped accommodate their need for clubs, shoes, gloves, balls etc.
Shortly after lunch the time came for the golf trip to officially begin. Chris and Debbie were pretty much on their own for the rest of the week for their tour of Ireland (which will have to be a separate blog henceforth), and the guys – John, John, John, Chan, Tim, Bob, Pat, Steve as well as Marty and his friend Ralph – boarded the bus for the first golf excursion of the week. Now, this bus is a luxury bus that seats 12 with leather, reclining seats, a couple of tables and plenty of storage for bags and equipment.
The first stop was the European Club in Britas Bay about 1.5 hours south of Dublin. It was the usual scenic drive through the countryside, and eventually we got to roads that looked too narrow for our bus, let alone accommodating a car coming the other way. Somehow our driver managed to pass the others cars without exchanging paint or mirrors, though we slowed to a crawl on a couple of occasions. As a side note, the posted speed limit on these roads was 80 km/h – that’s 50 miles per hour !!! Anyone going that speed on such narrow, winding roads would be crazy or have a death wish.
We arrived at the European Club at 3PM and after getting our souvenir fix and (optional) cart rentals squared away, we were off to the first tee. It took me exactly one tee shot to lose my first ball – a grounded, smothered hook into grass that is so deep and think that any thought of finding the ball is extinguished immediately. The round proceeded as onel might expect on a premier links golf course – lots of blind tee shots, huge sand dunes, deep bunkers (usually on both sides of the fairway and at the driving distance), uneven and often narrow fairways, undulating greens – oh yeah, did I mention the rough and the gorse? Of course the rough is uncut which makes finding balls and hitting them a wee challenges, but the gorse is a sticky, scruffy bush that makes it impossible –and I mean impossible – to find your ball.
I cannot take enough space to describe how interesting the course is and how stunning the views are along the coast and over the distant hills and pasture lands, but I suspect many of you have seen such pictures and get the idea. However, you only get the idea because I think you have to be there to fully appreciate the experience.
The most unique aspect of the course was that it had 20 holes – honest, I have not been drinking too much Guinness. There were holes 7a and 12a, which are optional, but of course we wanted the full experience. By the time we were all done, it was getting dark and we packed up to head home, taking stock of what balls we had left and licking our wounds – except for Chan who shot 37, 42 for a smooth 79 !! Congratulations Chan.
By the time we were done golfing and got to a town where we could eat diner, all the restaurants were closed, so we all went home hungry with selected individuals having preferred to drink their dinner. Now I went to my room and subsequently to bed, but apparently some of the group (Emmie, Zehner and Lazard along with Marty and his friend Ralph) opted for fish and chips carry-out from a small, local establishment hear the hotel. They ate their fill and got the thumbs up from numerous Irish passers-by. They proceeded to the bar (which initially did not let them in with the food) AND CLOSED THE PLACE DWN AT 1 AM.
Now this blog will attempt to vilify each person in the golf group somewhere along the way.
Pat Elward noted that there are at least 3 uses for Guinness:
It’s good for partying;It’s good for correcting your slice (aka swing oil)
When you spill it on your brown golf shoes, it serves as an excellent shoe polish.
Bob Lazard is affectionately known as “cupcake” and everyone on the trip knows why, but what happens in Ireland stays in Ireland. It ain’t your day cupcake!!
At the turn on the course, Tim and Pat pulled up to the clubhouse for an interim drink, and Pat was quick to point out his room. Tim was rightfully astonished at the comment, and Pat insisted his room had a golf course view. Tim had to remind Pat that we had driven 1.5 hours to a different course and that we were no longer at Portmarnock but at the European Club.
Tim had the best draw of the day – actually two of them – one for his superb 178 yard draw out of the gorse and around a dune to the back of the 7th green and one for his Guinness in the bar.
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